Clinton Campaign Charts Post Election Actions

Big House, Kansas - Clinton campaign officials announced this morning that after being elected, the candidate would immediately prepare to lead the country from inside Allentown Penitentiary in Pennsylvania.

Campaign chief, John Podesta told a crowd of three, that the new IOTUS - (Inmate of the United States) has been reading books on Al Capone, John Gotti, and Lucky Luciano to see how heads of other American organizations ran their respective businesses from inside the "Big House."

"She even spent all night Thursday watching the complete Godfather trilogy," Podesta chuckled. "Now do any of you think Don Trump would do that?"

One woman in the crowd responded with: "Hey, where's our free donuts, man?"

"You'll get them as soon as you fill out these ballots," Podesta answered while handing out multiple ballots to each of the attendees. "And not a second sooner."

Also Happening Now: Harry Reid Declares Intent To Use the Hatch Green Chile Act Against FBI Director Comey.

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