Hair-Gel, Ca - California Governor Newsom bought table space at the Sacramento Swap Meet Saturday morning to announce his bid to become the Democratic nominee for President. Speaking to a crowd of five, Newsom displayed an assortment of marketing tools to promote his candidacy. The most notable being a red cap displaying the logo: "Make America Grovel Again"
Newsom informed the non-crowd around his table that his team had spent over a million dollars and endless time with focus groups to finally decide on the new logo. "It just goes to show, what you can do when you are spending other people's money," The Governor beamed.
Newsom also spent time asking passerby's who they would vote for. No matter the age, culture, or gender, the answer was always the same. "Get outta my fuckin' face."
Newsom's canned response was always the same. "I wish I 'Newsom' body."
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